The Little Things ~ a midweek marriage moment

In Song of Solomon, we read "It's the Little Foxes that spoil the vines"...little things can make or break, can't they?

In our marriage, we never really went out on dates after the babies started coming, mostly because of babysitting issues. The whole problem of finding someone reliable and trustworthy to watch our kids, and the stress of a few bad experiences with babysitters (even and especially family member babysitters) was enough to make us not try it too often. Once we had to take our toddler daughter to the ER after one grandparent let her eat diaper creame (after all, she was happy playing with the tube....why take it from her?) or with the knowledge that one of my relatives took the kids to the bar (they called it a restaurant, despite the word "tavern" being in the title), and another time when another grandparent thought it ok to squeeze all five of my kids into her small car without seat belts (and got pulled over while doing so). I could go on and on, but I won't. I'm not even going to mention my kids being taught how to play poker using M & M's as chips ("they're learning their colors, honey!") or our nice Christian babysitter being caught on the couch with her boyfriend.

It probably then comes as no surprise that we pretty much left the idea of dating until a future date...the date at which children were able to watch themselves, and older siblings could babysit the younger ones. We've been enjoying this renewal in our relationship ever since, where we are able to get away for an hour or two alone.

One of the questions I have been emailed often is this: We're on a tight budget. How can we have a date night?

Well, I don't think you have to have some sort of formal date night...though you should make your relationship a priority. The emphasis should be on the relationship not on spending money.

Take last night for instance.

A friend of ours owns a window washing company, and my husband had to go up to Saginaw to do a few jobs on the side for him, and I needed a few things that I was putting off getting because of gas prices and time...so I went with him. I got dressed nicely (even though he was wearing work clothes), and I did my shopping while he worked, then spent the last little bit of time just sitting with him, watching him work, and finally we went out and split a sub while sitting in a park. Nothing too fancy, but I know he liked me first of all going with him, secondly dressing up a little bit instead of going out looking grungy (even though he was :-)), and then just sitting there watching him work while listening to my mp3 player in my phone, and taking silly pictures of us with our cell phones. He took the picture of me that I am now using as my profile picture :-) and I took this one of us:




Other times, we have taken a chess board, and played chess on the front porch (or in a park or cafe), and things like that. You don't need to go to a fancy restaurant every week...or even every year for that matter unless you are able.