The Value of a Mother

Sometimes I decide not to comment here in my blog on a lot of what is going on in society at large because as moms we tend to get really emotional about things, and the last thing we need is one more thing to make our blood boil, and stress us out, right? I try to stay out of politics and so forth, and other things that I really feel helpless to change. I've learned to comment on and change those things that are in my power to change and to comment on those things where commentary may make a difference (instead of just adding to the noise of modern society).

However, this past week, I read an article that both made my blood boil and made me think about what I could do about this situation. The article is by someone who I can only assume is extra-terrestrial (said half joking), because her ideas are totally out there. She believes that all that can be done should be done to make sure that women get in and stay in the workforce because, she believes, it is better for society. It's not, "Women should be able to choose to work" but "Women should not have the choice to stay home". Yeah, like I said, Totally out there.

I can get pretty grrrrrrrrr about stuff like this so I tend to avoid talking about it altogether so as to avoid making everyone else's blood boil too.

But, increasingly, I feel that even though most people aren't going to say so in so many words like this very snarky out of touch woman does, there is a general movement in society that communicates to women that what they do at home is not very valuable on a whole, and it is this that I want to address over the next week or so in honor of Mother's Day. Sure, society said it's good for a woman to be there for her children when they are babies and toddlers, but still, society at large has an underlying view that work is where it is at.

Now, I've done the working in a cubicle for 50 hours a week thing. The cubicle (or even the corner office, as rare as that is) is NOT where it is at, girlfriends. Anyone of you who has to work to pay the bills probably knows that and feels that way. If I had to guess based on my own circle of friends, I'd say 9 out of 10 women don't find work the thrill that careerists make it out to be. Most people, in fact, have jobs, not careers. The whole rest of your life would have to be pretty messed up for you to wake up in the morning looking forward to punching a clock and spending 8-10 hours at the office.

Yet, read Ms. Hirschman's words from this article:

"Should we care if women leave the work force? Yes, because participation in public life allows women to use their talents and to powerfully affect society....That the most educated have opted out the most should raise questions about how our society allocates scarce educational resources. The next generation of girls will have a greatly reduced pool of role models. "

WOW.

Because, you know, as many of you probably guessed, I don't ever use my talents or powerfully affect society from my little ole home in the country. (said tongue in cheek). And, of course, you can't be a role model unless you have a wallet full of pay-stubs, right?

The value of a woman is not tied to earning power or hours logged in at some job, or even in how much she gives up to stay home with her children. A woman can choose to be a woman of great influence or of no influence wherever she is. That goes for women who are working for pay and those who are working hard at home. It's a choice we make. When I wake up in the morning, I have to choose to change my world for the better one day and one moment at a time, in those areas I have control over. This includes caring for my husband and children, keeping a welcoming home, and writing as the Lord leads. I have the power to influence society just by raising five future adults to also be influential. Talk about the law of exponential returns!

When my dh and I got married, I made more than him, and we didn't think much of that fact until I was pregnant with our first child. I was miserable at home at first. I was really wrestling on that potter's wheel, because I felt this was the right thing, but I felt totally inept at this job. I could juggle 60 different printing orders a night, but not keeping house, changing diapers, and caring for a newborn. It wasn't in my training. However, one day a friend said to me, You can choose to embrace where ever God has you at any moment or you can fight against it--your choice. Be yielded and joyful or be hard-hearted and miserable.

Well, I didn't like her advice.

But, months, and years, later I realized she was right...life isn't always the exact way we want it or how we plan it...and we have to roll with the punches, and along the way God shows us some really awesome and totally unexpected blessings.

I'm going to blog the whole rest of the week about the Value of a Mother and the blessings we receive in motherhood, so stay tuned for more.